Girlfriend vs. Prostitute

Once, I had a conversation with someone about relationships and no-strings-attached encounters. It is widely believed that in the case of longevity and future prospects, one would be happier and more emotionally and mentally satisfied with a healthy, loving relationship.

Of course, who am I to say that intimacy is necessarily enjoyment? In retrospect, I look at my past relationships and everything in between and I dare say I am not filled with pride. But in any case, no one should ever have to carry guilt or shame, those heavy bricks, on one's back.

When someone soughts a prostitute (sounds abrasive, but I think this is the politically correct term), it is expected that after completing those actions, a payment is due and nothing more can be considered of it. What would it cost? If you have 'refined' tastes, maybe a few hundred dollars and the possibility of getting a venereal disease. Frequency of this hobby positively relates to how much one earns or accumulates.

Consider this. Having a partner may bring much joy and delightment in one's life, not forgetting an intangible benefit to something called companionship. Perhaps, to anyone's consolation being in a monogomous relationship decreases the chance of STDs. Realistically however, the success of a relationship cannot be dissociated with the monetary value both would invest in each other. You do not believe that love would feed itself, do you? Every occasion that society has taught us to be important is celebrated with gifts and affection. Birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, and how can I fail to mention the insidious Valentine's Day. Even days without an occasion calls for little 'gifts of thought'. A husband and wife depend on money to build a family, without it would arguably lead to the demise of 'togetherness'. In fact, the basic instinct to survive is so fervent in our being that all else fails to trump it when there is a deprivation in this category.

Don't misunderstand me, to a certain extent I am a forlorn romantic and I thoroughly enjoy large eminent occations and those little moments I can spend with my partner. All I am bringing up is a perspective that most have probably not considered. It is something to ponder on, about the reality of life.
Love needs money.

Makes one contemplate. Perhaps both terms are not as contrasted as we believed them to be.

Transformation

FROM THIS TO THIS



WHOA ! DAN WAS SO JEALOUS OF MY BEAUTIFUL BEING THAT HE DECIDED TO MORPH INTO ME !!!!!
Just kidding.

A continuation of 'Beard'.
What a difference between keeping a beard and shaving one's face clean. Commonly, I believe when a man rids his burly beard and opts for a squeaky-clean chin he also rids years of age to his image.


PS. That is a very retarded picture of me, quite a few pictures of me seem to depict myself scartching my head, like a silly baboon......

Terrorizing

Now that I'm free for awhile. This is my bible. Gonna check out all the diamonds in the rough of sunny beautiful Vancouver ! Did I tell you today is a glorious sunshine-filled day? Anyone of you who reads this should most definitely be getting out there !

*I'm sort of poor right now, after what I spent on yesterday.... tell you more about that later, so you won't be seeing reviews of high-end restaurants. Sorry.

I'M BACK !

That's right I am ! Finally, all my pain and suffering is put to an end, momentarily...
Truly, my experience of 3rd and 4th year university has taught me one thing : It is NEVERENDING (somehow similar to a track stuck on a groove.)

My desk is now cluttered with a different spread of books. Its one more day before Dan has his 22nd birthday and I'm in deep contemplation of which gourmet food are palatable to his taste. French, Italian, Thai ?

On a side note, I have tried a few gourmet cuisines, gourmet French, gourmet Italian, gourmet Chinese, even gourmet West Coast (probably only familiar to those residing in the area itself) but I haven't seen any gourmet Thai food that anyone has dared ventured into ! I seriously believe that there is a market here for that cuisine and there's a fairly good probability that it will thrive. But, in most cases, what do I know about being a restauranteur?

So what do you guys think?
Couldn't post pictures of Italian and Thai because their pictures don't make my mouth water, the French ones are delightful though.

Gone for a short while

I apologize for not blogging for a few days now. I usually have some topic or event to talk about every 1 or 2 days but this week, I'm really busy with both an important exam and assignment.

I say something like that because I'd like to think someone is reading this. Hah.

So don't worry, I'll be back on Friday. I've got some good stuff for ya !

Needing prayers and luck for school work.

When you are a child

This is what I encountered when I was crossing the Lion's Gate Bridge a few days ago. Its common to see a faint image of a rainbow through the sunshine after a downpour but I've never seen one as captivating as this.

Passing under it filled me with excitement for a reason I cannot fully explain. I suppose it has something to do with the childhood association of rainbows and happiness (perhaps overcoming adversity...) Notice how the surrounding sky remains dark and dreary.

Logging in

Well, today at about 10:37 pm, I stood stark naked and gazed at the scale in my bathroom. This is a very personal endeavor for me, the moment in which is defiled if there was anyone else in my presence. An air of intimidation enclosed as I stuck my toe out and tapped the scale's surface to trigger its awakening. I stood on it, waited and gulped.....

Lo and Behold, I am the heaviest I've ever been. I figure since this e-space is going to be based on everything and anything that crosses my mind, what the hell, I'll include my running/weight-loss log. I am a massive 132.4 pounds ( too heavy relative to my small stature of 5"3 and my self-perspective since I am the toughest critic of myself.) I do want to note that this is my weight after the ingestion of an entire day's worth of food.

The happy little consolation I have to myself is that I don't feel diamayed or disheartened. The surge of motivation gives me a sense of pleasure, since this motivation was derived from the fact that I ran 30 minutes today and clocking 3.35 miles. Not too shabby in my opinion, after a week's hiatus from any aerobic activity, trying to nurse my stomach flu. The mystery is in the consistency... Will I persevere? This is the most fundamental question is any subject that requires a commitment isn't it?

The Vancouver Sun Run is scheduled on the 23rd of April. My reserved time, along with Dan's, is 59 to 69 minutes.
My goal: To finish 10k in 60 minutes and still have the most enjoyable exhilaration that accompanies my accomplishment.

Note to self: Try my best to make it fun for Dan, since I persuasively made him participate in this with me and I signed him up and OUR ANNIVERSARY is on the day itself. Ooops.

Cavity

Just last night, I was standing outside my porch, donned in my pajamas and a fleece robe. In my arms I held my Bichon Frise and helped "wave" a good-bye with his paw to a white sports utility that slowly pulled away from my driveway. After watching it disappear in the distance, I turned back and closed the door. I gazed at the living room, and there it was... an unusual void.

My parents have left. The importance is not in the duration of their absence but of the fact that they have left. God knows all the arguments, disagreements and complications causing rifts and animosity between ourselves that we are fundamentally to be blamed for. Yet, almost everyday, we conceal all these complexities and grievances within and sit down to dinner at the table.

I am not fond of my family. Yes, I understand how one might think that I hold some sort of holier-than-thou disposition towards them and I care to admit... in most instances, I do. I was raised in a conservative, church-going, upper-middle class family. Being raised in Singapore had a little to do with this procedure of upbringing. Singapore is one of those entry nations of Asia to diffuse Western technology and culture. My parents had intentions of being liberal, but not wanting to be a hypocrite, they had to infuse the traditional Chinese upbringing, which culminated into awkward and almost always contradictory parenting skills ( You can go out and come back at 1 in the morning. But if you put a animated poster of a couple kissing, you will be slapped silly.)
In short, it wasn't pleasant and I postulate that this may be the reason why I repress and can't seem to recall most of my childhood memories. I observe my sister and the manner in which she speaks to or deals with her son, and I am reminded of how she used to treat me in my childhood days. I most certainly do not wish to act this way when I have the opportunity to be a mother.

It is not odd to hear yelling and boisterous laughter and talk in my house. Some may call it a lack of propriety or just plain old "loud Chinese people" ( dine at a popular Chinese restaurant to comprehend.) This family's dysfunctions and imperfections serve as a habitual reminder that I am 23 and there is a pang of desperaton to leave this house and be independent (a 20-somethings word for cutting most family ties and "finding" one's self.)
And yet, this is the woman who has favoured me throughout my life, nurtured me as a child, heard me cry, cooks and does laundry for me. This is the man who has taught me how to swim, bicycle, love the physical outdoors and its activities.

I loathe and I love.

The weather controls you

Vancouver is a small city located in British Columbia, Western Canada. Many around the world associate Canada with bleak conditions and severely cold temperatures. In general, this is not the case with Vancouver which is known to be kinder to its residents only to show her wrath through pouring rain.

It is now March, one would naturally expect to see more consistent sunshine. This is why I was baffled last week to see thick snowflakes fall just outside my window continuously draping my street in a thick frosted blanket. That previous night, I felt unwell due to the "stress" I incurred (according to the doctor) from the preparation of an exam I had to take. Subsequently I wrote an email to my lecturer informing him of my situation and to ask if I could write a make-up exam. He replied that he could transfer the weight of the exam to the final.

To my horror (ok, I know its exaggeration), the exam itself was cancelled, or should I say, postponed due to the icy precarious conditions one would have to brave just to go to a university propped on a mountain.

This is why I can't spend this delightful day outside attending to habits in which I fancy, even though this is one of the first beautiful days after the snow. I have to hunch myself over a desk with poor lighting and bury my head which encases a small brain, in books and poorly scribbled notes. The exam is tomorrow.


*This is a complaint

Beard

Sometimes I figure it must be a bane for men to shave. Afterall, having to lather your face up and set blades against one's skin is not what someone would naturally call, pleasurable. In this sense, its not as tedious for females (of course if we're considering area space then we have more to deal with). I shave about once in 3 days, that way I can fully appreciate my smooth and glowing legs, thanks to the sparkles in popular body lotions today promising to naturally rid one of white pastey skin just by daily moisturization.

However, 7 days of not shaving one's face has proven irritable to me. Initially, it was just laziness and complancency. But after 4 days, Dan, my bf, declared that it was official - he was going to grow a beard.

You know, there is some merit to those cliched shaving commercials that plague North American television - a seductive woman comes from behind a well-built sexy shirtless man, touches his chin and displays an expression of approval. Women do love shaved chins.

Really, how many men can actually pull off a moustache, let alone a beard? George Clooney, Sean Connery.. I can't think of anymore (this goes to show that since I can't name many, there probably aren't many.) Especially if you're Chinese. If you're Chinese, you would probably be thankful that you are able to grow what might resemble a moustache, since most can only sprout disappointingly thin, wispy , erratic hair. 2 days ago, my dad praised him for his beard and he talked about how it was difficult for him to grow one. So I gather growing a beard is an element in building a man's pride.

My experiences from kissing a man with a beard: chaffing, being prickled on the way to kissing him on the lips, a static charge from going close to his beard, being prickled when I tuck my head into his neck when I sleep. So, I now slightly purse my lips to effectively target his. Joyous.

A little introduction

I can't remember how many times I have been at lost when I tried to produce something with a creative flare for the pen. I had a blog before that was powered by Friendster (a damnable site in which I still visit often enough although I curse it everytime I log in.) I suppose the few main reasons for me to start this new one are:

1. To resurrect my writing abilities I once could be so proud of, lest I degenerate into a sad pitiful person who cannot express him or herself.

2. My incessant naggings to my bf and his sister have become so tiresome to them that I need a new outlet.

3. The blog I had at Friendster probably didn't have much viewership. I am self-obsessive and find a need to be more popular.

So here's a snippet of my current status:

I am a 23 year-old Asian girl that could once call a tiny country called Singapore "home", but has abandoned that privilege for a Canadian citizenship. I have lived in the beautiful city of Vancouver since I was 16 and this is "home" to me now. My so-called journey in these 7 years have been arduous yet enjoyable... come to think of it, given a chance to change anything, I wouldn't change a thing. Sometimes it takes a long time for one to learn something, perhaps a new concept or a perspective but analogous to chiselling an object and finally smoothing it down, hopefully one can emerge as an improvement. Perhaps in another post I will go into more details. I am in Simon Fraser University and it has recently dawned on me that I have 2 more semesters before I'm set free into the jaws of the real world. I currently live with loving but possesive (at least my mom is) parents and not only that, my bitter, ill-tempered sister and her own family (consisting of a husband and a 5 yr old son) lives in our basement. So as you have probably analyzed, we are just one hell of a happy family ! Thankfully, I have a bf of 2 yrs to bitch and rant to, he's also the main reason I leave the house frequently. As for friends, I only have 2 close ones, which in a way worries me : Am I socially in-apt? Hmmmm... a thinker.