Unevenness

I am at a restless point in my life.


When I was 15 years old, my role was to be a disastrous juvenile. My mother's frenzied attempts to salvage my declining grades resulted in the employment of an extra-curricular tutor. On one occasion during my throws of frustration, he told me something profound: Sucess is a product of two ingredients, structure and perseverance.


Because I am a dreamer (my mother has always reminded me so as a child), I always have the structure set up. Ideals and illusions that are so marvellous that if I were to list them on a piece of paper, I could admire, venerate it, and the next moment crumble it into a useless barren mound when reality penetrates it, sullying its good nature. That is what my ideals and illusions are, uncompromising.


The perseverance part, I am ashamed of.
I have no significant events to commemorate to perseverance. Not an adjective to describe me, lest I further disappoint myself in being a phony.


So what does this little girl do, you ask?


She fills her shelves with many commonplace DIY help books advising her on career and financial paths. She spends her time reading them, seeking some sort of enlightenment to satiate the pangs of inadequacy, but what use can be extracted from a map if one is constrained in a glass box?


*Sigh*


Others seem to know to a certain extent of what their future might turn out to be, and they take steps to chase after it, I look on and envy them whilst I stand in my stagnating platform. Their future slowly diffusing immaculately into what they know as their present, closing the disparity between both extremes.
I am myopic to any advancements in my life.



Oh... the agony and angst of lying still in the abyss.

GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS

Threesomes. Gang-bang. Bukakke.
Holy shit. There are so many terms out there now to describe sexual encounters with multiple people!

Sure, seeing vid clips on the internet of them can be fucking... sexy as hell in which most males will certainly agree with me. But then again, sitting infront of the computer screen watching it is one thing and its another if you know someone who leads such a lifestyle.

If you want to know the truth, cheating on someone in my books is analogous to blowing away one's sanctity. Isn't it one of those taboos in a monogomous relationship? Perhaps my touchiness about it is derived from the fact that I have been victim of such a circumstance before. Perhaps that is why in realistic terms I can never picture myself in a threesome or gang-bang. Though I can always imagine how fucking sexy a threesome will be. For some reason, if I dream of a threesome or gang-bang, I'm always the fucking spectator!

So far, I've come across 2 people, different people who aren't acquainted with each other, who have been in a threesome. I'm happy for them, because they both told me they thoroughly enjoyed themselves, and everybody who has sex should always enjoy themselves. Secretly, I find it sort of dirty, unhygenic. I certainly differentiate between fantasy and reality as two utterly distinctive entities. Watching porn of threesomes and gang-bangs, jerking off to it, having sex whilst watching it...harmless. Being in a threesome or gang-bang, playing a role of a porn star... just suggesting to your future partner that you can't be trusted and instilling low self-esteem in them. To be honest, a few things work better when confined within the limits of the mind.... that being almost limitless! *widening eyes*

Yes, I'm a prickish conservatist, traditionalist, right-wing or whatever the hell you want to call me. Fuck you guys, two's enjoyment for me!

A Slight Limp

• My heart is beating in a strained and yet consistent manner. But that doesn't worry me too much. I am concerned about my breathing. I look down at my thighs and notice the jiggle of every step I take, they are turning red.
  

• Hordes of people in white stream down the streets and I cannot help thinking we are but just bison, stampeding towards our goal. I do not like this feeling. I prefer the lonely solitude. It is selfish, but this is my time of meditation and introspection.

• My hopes and expectations soar and plummet in that duration of time. Times of exhilaration and enforced motivation, others of self-deprecation. I turn back, hoping to see Dan trailing behind me but my hopes are futile. I have lost him. In the heat of the moment I feel disappointment in myself : I should have waited for him. After all, today is our anniversary and I promised that we'd stay together. Perhaps I missed and he has overtaken me. This is the point of no return. I run alone now and my target is to surprise myself and yet fluff that ego, by finishing above my alotted time.

• My sides start to ache, although it is against my will, I inadvertently decrease my pace. The aching leg I cautiously noted about before the start seems to remind me of its presense. I do not care. As long as I do not stop. Spectators cheer and although I appreciate the amicable thoughts, their support leaves me indifferent. Under the bridge, I hear 'Wonderall' and no pain can stop me from mouthing the surreal lyrics of the song.
  

• This must be the last incline. Through my sense of navigation, we are close to the Dome where the finish line awaits. I remind myself to lift my legs higher in order to lessen the strain of the incline. I glance at my GPS system, to my chagrin, minutes have ticked away, I have past my personal alotted time. I jog abit more, to my utmost relief, the multi-coloured arch that signifies the end is within sight! How vibrant that arch is! Its a mad dash to the finish line as my arms and legs lift higher in unison allegedly being broken away from chains, my vision blurs with only one object in focus. The theme song from 'Chariots of fire' blares in my head and every step I take is intune with its beat.

• I cross the finish line and click at my GPS system. 1 hour and 3 minutes. I console myself with the fact that this is my first time, toying with the idea that there is room for improvement, of course. I look out towards the crowd that is pulling in. Perhaps I will see him... and I did.

My first amazing experience of the Vancouver Sun Run.
Distance: 10 K
Course difficulty: Slightly abouve average. Did not expect that many inclines.
Participation rate: 50,700 entrants
Weather: The most beautiful weather we could have with cloudless skies
Regrets: Should have managed schedule to fit in more runs for training. Diet is screwed up.

Repeat participation? I'll be doing it for the rest of my life !

A Short Hiatus

Frightful. Nerve-wrecking. Insomnia.


Words to describe myself in this state of mind where I have to face FINALS.


I need all the GODS in the world to help me out in this one....
Sad how I always say the same thing for every semester even though I am 2 semesters short of graduating and I still haven't pulled my socks yet (metaphorically.)


See you guys on the 20th. I'll have some good stuff to talk about.

Hawker's Delight

We arrived at Main Street slightly past the norms of dinner time. The map said that we were aprroximately 500m away from it but being unfamiliar with the surroundings we cautiously parked just so that we wouldn't miss it. Most stores and shops were closed and we wondered: could we be lost? Finally, after what seemed like eternity walking in the chill, we spotted a block of shops that were brightly litted and seemed to be bustling with life. And there it was, Hawker's Delight.


Initially, I was slighty apprehensive at its surroundings. In full honesty, the lighting of the restaurant (or deli as they would like to be referred to) and the lack of interior design, in unison create a somewhat dingy atmosphere. Gaudy posters are pinned up on the walls, portraying typical Malaysian tourist destinations but oddly enough, no posters of Singapore (even though the owners are Singaporean.) Well, knowing what I'm working with, I conclude that are no esthetics to pleasure myself with and head to the counter to order. Right there, I am surprised at its diverse and eye-catching menu. Ranging from Hainanese Chicken Rice to Laksa and Gado Gado, I am lost at what to order because never have I been to a South East Asian eatery that offered so many endearing dishes in which I miss whole-heartedly from Singapore. Eventually, we came to a decision:

Our Spread


Mee Goreng: Indian-style noodles in South East Asia



Mee Rebus: Malay-style egg noodles served in a thick tamarind sauce served with bean sprouts, boiled eggs and minced meat.


Grass Jelly Drink: I remember as a little girl, after school my grandpa would come pick me up and he would buy me a can and it tasted so wonderfully refreshing in the sweltering heat of Singapore.


How mouth-watering

Dazzle
Food is relatively authentic to Singaporean/Malaysian cuisine. You will love the prices, for it won't dent your wallet. Quite a spread of dishes start from $4.25 and you will receive it in a pretty large plate. Leaves you in a state of satisfaction. Order flavourful Mee Goreng and Mee Rebus (as if those pictures don't tempt you already), also Mee Pok (dried noodles) is a good choice. Dine early in the day and get a chance to order a plate of Satay (kabob-ed chicken, beef or pork served with creamy peanut sauce.) I didn't get a chance to order some my first time there, but I came back for it the next time.


Frazzle
Dining in is slightly uncomfortable in their small and dingy space. Don't expect any privacy between yourself and others, all conversations can be heard throughout. Showing up with 3 other friends in tow is abit of a hassle especially at lunch-time where it starts to get packed. Take out is perhaps a better way to go. At peak lunch-time expect food to take a little longer to arrive. Cleanliness is abit of a question mark. Some sit well and others might not. You might put yourself at risk by ordering the Tahu Goreng.


Overall
$
7/10


Hawker's Delight Deli
4127 Main Street
Vancouver
604-709-8188

Click here for LEGEND and RANKING

Vancouver Auto Show '06

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the line. My years (though not many) of going to the annual Auto show, I've never had to wait in line to buy tickets and this year, in the accompaniment of rain. I suppose we went at its peak time and it was packed ! Due to my absent-mindedness I didn't bring my own camera. How stupid !
Thanks Dan for letting me use yours.


Feast your eyes.

Bentley Continental Flying Spur, the four-door sister of the Continental GT




Chevrolet Camaro, Concept: Cool-looking nostalgic car




The venerable Lotus Elise: Quite surprised that someone on my hill has one. I heard there was a long waiting list for this car. I'm utterly in love with this fearsome beauty. Remember the scene in 'Pretty Woman', where Julia Roberts takes over the driving from Richard Gere? She was driving a silver Lotus Espirit and I remember her saying 'It handles like its on rails.' Well, this handles superbly in the exact same manner.




Rolls Royce Phantom: A gargantuan of a luxury saloon. You must personally see it to recognize its size. It holds a 6.7L V12 engine and weighs 5577 pounds ( hefty). Dan tells me one of the reason it needs to be this heavy is to ensure a seemingly smooth and frictionless ride. After I've seen it in 50cent's 'P.I.M.P.', I can't help but think of this car as what one would purchase to blatantly make known to others of his/her prominence. My 2 cents.




BAR Honda F1 car


Regrets: I'd love to post up more pictures, but Blogger only allows me 5.


Other highly notable mentions:

• Porsche Cayman S
• BMW Z4 'M' version convertible, the esteemed M5 and M6
  
• new Mercedes GL class (thank god, I thought this was actually going to be the replacement of the G-class and it is not.)
• Lamborghini Murcielago convertible

Perhaps Dan and I have been to the Auto show too frequently (as in too many consecutive years) because we seem to have lost abit of our enthusiam for it. Even though he still has more engrossed in it than I am, the excitement has diminished. No vast improvements that are mind-blowing so to speak. Until then, our interest has stagnated.
Anyone else feel the same?

Guu

Presently located in various hot spots in Vancouver, I must admit, Guu has really come a long way as an innovator and trailblazer.

An enthusiast of their work since their first project on Thurlow, I find myself regularly frequenting their restaurants. My favourite being the one on Robson Street. Downtown Vancouver is a residing place for many native Japanese and Koreans whose agenda is to learn the English language. This undoubtedly explains the string of Japanese/Korean restaurants and internet cafes that clutter the tip of Robson, in hopes of catering to their own in comfort. Though I am quite certain that they are not worried about this competitive atmosphere by the looks of groups of people crowding impatiently (in the cold no less), outside of their establishment.

Stepping in the restaurant as a first-timer, one perhaps will be slightly taken aback by the boisterousness of jovial staffers shouting orders across the room. Their style is Izakaya, meaning a Japanese style bar popular for after-work drinking. So no need for the pretentious etiquette and structure of dining in a traditional sushi house. Their fame, spread like wild-fire has caused emulation in a few other restaurants in the Downtown area and even one in my small surburban city.

The interior is nothing fashionable and will not leave you in awe. Helps in minimizing distractions and gets straight to the point.
Is the food good? The simple and boring answer is, Yes.
The variation in their food offering is their potent lure in achieving a customer's continuous return. Their menu is vast in a manner which I favour in comparison to my previous review of Havana Cafe, in which case they do not veer away from their Japanese roots. Select from their 'Specials' menu or from their Ala Carte menu. From their Ala Carte menu, order the Japanese-style pizza, 'Takoyaki' (octopus balls, no pun intended), Beef sashimi (carpaccio-style), Spicy Sharks' Fin, Baked Oysters and potatoes in cream sauce covered in cheddar (highly temptable isn't it?) If these don't whet your appetite (I am appalled), but not to worry, order their dry-fried Udon noodles (Kimchi Udon is my pick.)


Dazzle
Unshackle yourself from too-comfortable staples and order from their 'Specials' menu, I assure, they won't disappoint you. Constant monthly variation in their 'Specials' keep customers on the edge of their seat. Dishes come in small yet satiable portions, works well for those who are calorie-counting. Food is fusion and creative, well worth the price as long as you don't order any alcohol. Try their different-flavoured Japanese soda. Atmosphere is informal and a touch rowdy, so don't worry about people giving you dirty looks, chances are, they're probably drunk as well.


Frazzle
Showing up at peak dinner time is a wrong move, face the same fate as other hordes of people and wait up to 1.5 hours. Preferably go before 6:30pm or after 9pm. Otokomae (one of the other chains) is big enough but Guu with Garlic on Robson is a little tight, not too great if you have a large party. A secret to share: I once knew a friend who worked there who said she would never bring herself to eat any of their food, explaining that since she knew how the food was prepared she couldn't put herself through it. Something to keep in mind, though I have not had any mishappenings from dining there.



Overall:
$ $
8/10


Guu
1698 Robson St
Vancouver BC
604-685-8678

Click for LEGEND and RANKING



PS. I apologize for not having any pictures. I will try my best to go there again soon (maybe with my parents?) and entertain you with captures of their food. Hope this entry still managed to amuse you.

Havana Cafe

The lack of Cuban restaurants in Vancouver and curiosity itself drove Dan and I to Havana. As a greenhorn to Commercial Drive, I was delightfully surprised by the colourful and vibrant atmosphere that surrounds this street. A quick stroll on this street and one can identify with its hobo/bohemian way of life. With many vintage clothing shops and record stores it seems to stand defiantly against anything mass-produced one would be bombarded with once one crosses the bridge into Downtown.

Havana Cafe is generally packed outside on the patio with opportunistic people exploiting the availibility of sunshine I assume, its popularity gained from reviews made previously by Vancouver magazine.


The menu is highly diverse, like Starbucks, perfect for conservatives who might want to dip their toes into the pool to test the waters. They offer choices such as pasta and the tiresome greek and caesar salads. The drink list is also an eyeful with some interesting concoctions.


Mojito on the left and a some sort of Cuban rum mixure on the right.

The Chorizo embodied immense flavour and its taste enhanced by mustard seeds which made taste buds dance. Papaya chicken makes an interesting choice of pairing, however the firm papaya chunks seems to overpower the flavour of the grilled chicken. The service was quite interesting. The waiter straightfowardly discourages from ordering anything to expensive and suggests that we order the Creole tiger prawns since its bang-for-the-buck.


Dazzle
A nice getaway from Downtown and its scene into an organic establishment. Draws a beautiful crowd if that interests you. Quite intriguing that there is an art gallery and theatre connected to the restaurant which I have yet to visit. An alternative place to stop by for spirited appetizers.


Frazzle
Although food is pleasing enough, its nothing too impressive and its quality and creativity does not justify its price. Menu is too diverse for my liking, it seems to show that the chefs couldn't come to a specific decision on what to offer. I like specialization. Order appetizers or the burger platter (although this refutes the purpose of trying Cuban cuisine) to get your bang-for-the-buck. Bathrooms are eclectic.


Overall:
$ $
6.5/10


Havana
1212 Commercial Drive
Vancouver BC
604-253-9119


Click for LEGEND and RANKING

My system

Food plays a substantial role in my life.
They say one should eat to live and not live to eat, but I have taken upon myself the philosophy of the latter. I do admit that I have a problem: I love to gorge on food.

Since this is one of my passions, I have decided that most restaurants, cafes, delis and bars that I visit will be subject to my ranking system. Criterias to be considered will be categorized into:

• Ambience
• Food quality
• Creativity
• Cleanliness
• Service
  
• Price
  

Do remember that people have different tastes and expectations, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I hope that any disparity in opinions and perspectives would not cause any conflict. This is merely my opinion and please do not take these reviews as biblical truth.

LEGEND :
$ - Relatively cheap
$ $ - A little pricey
$ $ $ -Be prepared to fork out the green
$ $ $ $ - I won the lottery and I don't give a damn

Ranking:
0 -My god, I'd rather plunge my head into the sewers for a meal
10 -Heaven... I'm in heaven

What he got

A few posts ago, you were informed that I couldn't spend so much on my quest to discover Vancouver's diamonds in the rough. This is what I spent abit of my money on.


This is a box camera by the company Lomography. Its technology is close to obsolescence in this digital age. Although one might be curious to know why I would choose such a gift since supposedly, the more sophisticated the technology the better, my response is... who cares??!

Occasionally, I grow weary of the rat race we engage in all aspects of our lives.
Is better necessarily more satisfaction?
I seem to have stumbled into this self-questioning phase in my life. An astute individual once said that an unexamined life is not worth living. Undeniable.

This toy-like contraption cannot boast of its megapixels, its 10x optical zoom or its thin and portable size. It is unjust to compare it to today's tempting digital pocket cameras we all strive to purchase on ebay. This is not about precision. The joy in this camera is actually in its unpredictability. No one camera will ever capture the same topic with the same characteristics. In fact, the red little box you see on the camera is the colour filter for its flash feature. So your pictures, once developed, will have either a blue, red or orange tint. Pictures taken show distortion from its realistic components and sometimes portrays a faded or washed-out appearance, all due to the fact that the camera leaks light. All visible colours it senses are immensely saturated
It is loved and appreciated for its dramatized and cinematic feel it produces, almost poetic.

Until his and my photography skills improve, then will Il post some of our creations. Due to our insufficient experience, the first roll of film have been... sub-par.

Girlfriend vs. Prostitute

Once, I had a conversation with someone about relationships and no-strings-attached encounters. It is widely believed that in the case of longevity and future prospects, one would be happier and more emotionally and mentally satisfied with a healthy, loving relationship.

Of course, who am I to say that intimacy is necessarily enjoyment? In retrospect, I look at my past relationships and everything in between and I dare say I am not filled with pride. But in any case, no one should ever have to carry guilt or shame, those heavy bricks, on one's back.

When someone soughts a prostitute (sounds abrasive, but I think this is the politically correct term), it is expected that after completing those actions, a payment is due and nothing more can be considered of it. What would it cost? If you have 'refined' tastes, maybe a few hundred dollars and the possibility of getting a venereal disease. Frequency of this hobby positively relates to how much one earns or accumulates.

Consider this. Having a partner may bring much joy and delightment in one's life, not forgetting an intangible benefit to something called companionship. Perhaps, to anyone's consolation being in a monogomous relationship decreases the chance of STDs. Realistically however, the success of a relationship cannot be dissociated with the monetary value both would invest in each other. You do not believe that love would feed itself, do you? Every occasion that society has taught us to be important is celebrated with gifts and affection. Birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, and how can I fail to mention the insidious Valentine's Day. Even days without an occasion calls for little 'gifts of thought'. A husband and wife depend on money to build a family, without it would arguably lead to the demise of 'togetherness'. In fact, the basic instinct to survive is so fervent in our being that all else fails to trump it when there is a deprivation in this category.

Don't misunderstand me, to a certain extent I am a forlorn romantic and I thoroughly enjoy large eminent occations and those little moments I can spend with my partner. All I am bringing up is a perspective that most have probably not considered. It is something to ponder on, about the reality of life.
Love needs money.

Makes one contemplate. Perhaps both terms are not as contrasted as we believed them to be.

Transformation

FROM THIS TO THIS



WHOA ! DAN WAS SO JEALOUS OF MY BEAUTIFUL BEING THAT HE DECIDED TO MORPH INTO ME !!!!!
Just kidding.

A continuation of 'Beard'.
What a difference between keeping a beard and shaving one's face clean. Commonly, I believe when a man rids his burly beard and opts for a squeaky-clean chin he also rids years of age to his image.


PS. That is a very retarded picture of me, quite a few pictures of me seem to depict myself scartching my head, like a silly baboon......

Terrorizing

Now that I'm free for awhile. This is my bible. Gonna check out all the diamonds in the rough of sunny beautiful Vancouver ! Did I tell you today is a glorious sunshine-filled day? Anyone of you who reads this should most definitely be getting out there !

*I'm sort of poor right now, after what I spent on yesterday.... tell you more about that later, so you won't be seeing reviews of high-end restaurants. Sorry.

I'M BACK !

That's right I am ! Finally, all my pain and suffering is put to an end, momentarily...
Truly, my experience of 3rd and 4th year university has taught me one thing : It is NEVERENDING (somehow similar to a track stuck on a groove.)

My desk is now cluttered with a different spread of books. Its one more day before Dan has his 22nd birthday and I'm in deep contemplation of which gourmet food are palatable to his taste. French, Italian, Thai ?

On a side note, I have tried a few gourmet cuisines, gourmet French, gourmet Italian, gourmet Chinese, even gourmet West Coast (probably only familiar to those residing in the area itself) but I haven't seen any gourmet Thai food that anyone has dared ventured into ! I seriously believe that there is a market here for that cuisine and there's a fairly good probability that it will thrive. But, in most cases, what do I know about being a restauranteur?

So what do you guys think?
Couldn't post pictures of Italian and Thai because their pictures don't make my mouth water, the French ones are delightful though.

Gone for a short while

I apologize for not blogging for a few days now. I usually have some topic or event to talk about every 1 or 2 days but this week, I'm really busy with both an important exam and assignment.

I say something like that because I'd like to think someone is reading this. Hah.

So don't worry, I'll be back on Friday. I've got some good stuff for ya !

Needing prayers and luck for school work.

When you are a child

This is what I encountered when I was crossing the Lion's Gate Bridge a few days ago. Its common to see a faint image of a rainbow through the sunshine after a downpour but I've never seen one as captivating as this.

Passing under it filled me with excitement for a reason I cannot fully explain. I suppose it has something to do with the childhood association of rainbows and happiness (perhaps overcoming adversity...) Notice how the surrounding sky remains dark and dreary.

Logging in

Well, today at about 10:37 pm, I stood stark naked and gazed at the scale in my bathroom. This is a very personal endeavor for me, the moment in which is defiled if there was anyone else in my presence. An air of intimidation enclosed as I stuck my toe out and tapped the scale's surface to trigger its awakening. I stood on it, waited and gulped.....

Lo and Behold, I am the heaviest I've ever been. I figure since this e-space is going to be based on everything and anything that crosses my mind, what the hell, I'll include my running/weight-loss log. I am a massive 132.4 pounds ( too heavy relative to my small stature of 5"3 and my self-perspective since I am the toughest critic of myself.) I do want to note that this is my weight after the ingestion of an entire day's worth of food.

The happy little consolation I have to myself is that I don't feel diamayed or disheartened. The surge of motivation gives me a sense of pleasure, since this motivation was derived from the fact that I ran 30 minutes today and clocking 3.35 miles. Not too shabby in my opinion, after a week's hiatus from any aerobic activity, trying to nurse my stomach flu. The mystery is in the consistency... Will I persevere? This is the most fundamental question is any subject that requires a commitment isn't it?

The Vancouver Sun Run is scheduled on the 23rd of April. My reserved time, along with Dan's, is 59 to 69 minutes.
My goal: To finish 10k in 60 minutes and still have the most enjoyable exhilaration that accompanies my accomplishment.

Note to self: Try my best to make it fun for Dan, since I persuasively made him participate in this with me and I signed him up and OUR ANNIVERSARY is on the day itself. Ooops.

Cavity

Just last night, I was standing outside my porch, donned in my pajamas and a fleece robe. In my arms I held my Bichon Frise and helped "wave" a good-bye with his paw to a white sports utility that slowly pulled away from my driveway. After watching it disappear in the distance, I turned back and closed the door. I gazed at the living room, and there it was... an unusual void.

My parents have left. The importance is not in the duration of their absence but of the fact that they have left. God knows all the arguments, disagreements and complications causing rifts and animosity between ourselves that we are fundamentally to be blamed for. Yet, almost everyday, we conceal all these complexities and grievances within and sit down to dinner at the table.

I am not fond of my family. Yes, I understand how one might think that I hold some sort of holier-than-thou disposition towards them and I care to admit... in most instances, I do. I was raised in a conservative, church-going, upper-middle class family. Being raised in Singapore had a little to do with this procedure of upbringing. Singapore is one of those entry nations of Asia to diffuse Western technology and culture. My parents had intentions of being liberal, but not wanting to be a hypocrite, they had to infuse the traditional Chinese upbringing, which culminated into awkward and almost always contradictory parenting skills ( You can go out and come back at 1 in the morning. But if you put a animated poster of a couple kissing, you will be slapped silly.)
In short, it wasn't pleasant and I postulate that this may be the reason why I repress and can't seem to recall most of my childhood memories. I observe my sister and the manner in which she speaks to or deals with her son, and I am reminded of how she used to treat me in my childhood days. I most certainly do not wish to act this way when I have the opportunity to be a mother.

It is not odd to hear yelling and boisterous laughter and talk in my house. Some may call it a lack of propriety or just plain old "loud Chinese people" ( dine at a popular Chinese restaurant to comprehend.) This family's dysfunctions and imperfections serve as a habitual reminder that I am 23 and there is a pang of desperaton to leave this house and be independent (a 20-somethings word for cutting most family ties and "finding" one's self.)
And yet, this is the woman who has favoured me throughout my life, nurtured me as a child, heard me cry, cooks and does laundry for me. This is the man who has taught me how to swim, bicycle, love the physical outdoors and its activities.

I loathe and I love.

The weather controls you

Vancouver is a small city located in British Columbia, Western Canada. Many around the world associate Canada with bleak conditions and severely cold temperatures. In general, this is not the case with Vancouver which is known to be kinder to its residents only to show her wrath through pouring rain.

It is now March, one would naturally expect to see more consistent sunshine. This is why I was baffled last week to see thick snowflakes fall just outside my window continuously draping my street in a thick frosted blanket. That previous night, I felt unwell due to the "stress" I incurred (according to the doctor) from the preparation of an exam I had to take. Subsequently I wrote an email to my lecturer informing him of my situation and to ask if I could write a make-up exam. He replied that he could transfer the weight of the exam to the final.

To my horror (ok, I know its exaggeration), the exam itself was cancelled, or should I say, postponed due to the icy precarious conditions one would have to brave just to go to a university propped on a mountain.

This is why I can't spend this delightful day outside attending to habits in which I fancy, even though this is one of the first beautiful days after the snow. I have to hunch myself over a desk with poor lighting and bury my head which encases a small brain, in books and poorly scribbled notes. The exam is tomorrow.


*This is a complaint

Beard

Sometimes I figure it must be a bane for men to shave. Afterall, having to lather your face up and set blades against one's skin is not what someone would naturally call, pleasurable. In this sense, its not as tedious for females (of course if we're considering area space then we have more to deal with). I shave about once in 3 days, that way I can fully appreciate my smooth and glowing legs, thanks to the sparkles in popular body lotions today promising to naturally rid one of white pastey skin just by daily moisturization.

However, 7 days of not shaving one's face has proven irritable to me. Initially, it was just laziness and complancency. But after 4 days, Dan, my bf, declared that it was official - he was going to grow a beard.

You know, there is some merit to those cliched shaving commercials that plague North American television - a seductive woman comes from behind a well-built sexy shirtless man, touches his chin and displays an expression of approval. Women do love shaved chins.

Really, how many men can actually pull off a moustache, let alone a beard? George Clooney, Sean Connery.. I can't think of anymore (this goes to show that since I can't name many, there probably aren't many.) Especially if you're Chinese. If you're Chinese, you would probably be thankful that you are able to grow what might resemble a moustache, since most can only sprout disappointingly thin, wispy , erratic hair. 2 days ago, my dad praised him for his beard and he talked about how it was difficult for him to grow one. So I gather growing a beard is an element in building a man's pride.

My experiences from kissing a man with a beard: chaffing, being prickled on the way to kissing him on the lips, a static charge from going close to his beard, being prickled when I tuck my head into his neck when I sleep. So, I now slightly purse my lips to effectively target his. Joyous.